A few insights into the character of the Prophet (pbuh).

by

Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood.

The Prophet (pbuh), although he became ruler of the city state of Madinah, chose not to live like a king and never accepted the title of King. He believed with all his heart that there was no king but God, and refused to adopt any of the trappings of temporal sovereignty. Far from seeking to be raised above his subjects, sitting on one of those ornately decorated platforms known as thrones, he was content to sit on the floor in total simplicity. ‘I eat as a slave eats,’ he said, ‘and I sit as a slave sits. I am only a slave.’ (Ibn Sa’d 1.436).

He took no taxes from his subjects to build luxurious palaces for himself and his friends. Instead, even when he became exceedingly wealthy through spoils and tributes, he continued to live like a poor man. ‘Shall I tell you about the people of Paradise?’ he once said. ‘They consist of obscure, unimportant and humble people who keep their word. And shall I tell you about the people of the Fire? They consist of cruel, violent, proud and conceited people.’(Bukhari 8.651).

‘His way of life,’ commented Aishah, ‘is the Qur’an. He is pleased by what it finds pleasing, and angry according to what it finds hateful.’ (Ibn Sa’d 1.427).

He never claimed to be a superhuman being - he was a man like other men, subject to the same strengths and weaknesses, and tempted by the same temptations. It is important to stress the Prophet’s (pbuh) humanity – partly because the previous prophet ‘Isa (Jesus - pbuh) had been exalted to the rank of a divinity in the minds of his disciples, but mainly because only someone truly human can really function as an exemplar for other humans.

He was always embarrassed when people praised him.(Ibn Sa’d 1.502). ‘Do not praise me as the Christians have praised the son of Mary,’ he begged his Companions, ‘for I am only a servant of God. Rather, call me the servant of God, and His prophet.’

Ironically, many of his opponents rejected his claims because he was but a man like themselves (Surah 54.25). Some Muslims do try to insist that the Prophet (pbuh) was a perfect, infallible being, incapable of any character failing or mistake – both before and after his call to Prophethood. Yet Muhammad (pbuh) never imagined that he would be thought of as a perfect person or a superhuman being, incapable of making mistakes.

Frequently he and the people who came to him seeking answers were obliged to wait many long days before the hoped-for guidance came. Sometimes there was no guidance given at all, and if a decision was to be made, he had to rely on his own judgement. When such times occurred Muhammad (pbuh) never claimed to be anything more than any other human, and even less than other humans who might have more expertise in that particular field. The angel commanded him to make this clear.

‘I am but a man like yourselves,’ was the specific revelation. ‘I have received revelation that your God is only One God, so let him who hopes to meet his Lord act righteously, and let him associate no-one in the worship of his Lord.’ (Surah 18.111). If he was challenged to show some special sign, he was told to reply: ‘Holy is my Lord. I am but a man sent as a Messenger.’ (Surah 17.91-94. See also such passages as Surahs 67.26, 6.50 and 46.9.).

However, when he was acting out the instructions of Allah, it was a very different matter. The Muslims loved him because his life was so completely submitted to the way of Allah that he became the true guide in every situation, not withdrawing to ‘holy isolation’ but living amongst the people for whom the guidance had been sent, showing how it worked in practice.

All the Prophet’s (pbuh) words, actions and way of life reveal him as a man of gentleness, kindness, humility, good humour and excellent common sense, who had a great love for all people, especially for his family. Aishah said of him: ‘The Prophet (pbuh) never abused or spoke ill of anybody. He forgave faults and refrained from retaliation. He never thought of taking personal revenge, forgave non-believers promptly on their conversion to Islam; never fought on personal grounds; took an interest in his household affairs; condemned vendettas and blood feuds; and never beat anyone, not even a slave’.

When Aishah was asked what the Prophet (pbuh) was like at home, she said: ‘He does what you all do in your houses – he also patches his clothes and repairs his shoes, and feeds his goats.’ He used to ‘serve his family’, and help them in their household chores until the time came for prayer, and then he would go out. She said: ‘He was more bashful than a maiden in seclusion, but when he disliked something, we could see it immediately in his face.’

He hated arrogance. The angel had instructed him: ‘Don’t turn your face away from people in scorn, and do not strut about the earth exultantly; for God does not love pride or boastfulness. Be modest in your walk, and lower your voice – for the harshest of sounds is the braying of an ass!’ (Surah 31.19).

‘Those who have in their hearts the weight of a mustard seed of pride shall not enter Paradise,’ he said. One of his Companions commented that a particular person was known for caring so much that his clothes and shoes should be very fine. The Prophet (pbuh) remarked: ‘Truly, Allah is Graceful and He loves Grace. Pride comes from disdaining the truth (out of self-conceit) and having contempt for others.’(Muslim 34).

He was never arrogant or ‘superior’ despite his eminent position as leader. He hated it when people were made to feel small, unwanted or embarrassed. When he joined his Companions he would sit at the edge of their gathering and not expect them to move for him or give him a special seat. He used to joke and mix freely with them, talk to them about their affairs, pamper and coddle their children, and preferred to answer the call of slaves and the destitute to those who were well-off.

He disapproved of ostentation and grandeur, and forbade male Musims to wear silk clothing (unless they had a skin condition that required it) or gold jewellery. (Muslim 977).

He was very affectionate towards his family, and very fond of children in general. He would stop them in the streets and pat their little heads. He gathered children around him. He became a much-loved grandfather. Apart from his own nine grandchildren, plus Zayd b. Harithah’s son Usamah and Anas b. Malik who virtually lived with him, he also raised many of the children of his later wives in his household - for example, Sawdah may have had five or six children, Umm Salamah had four, and Umm Habibah had a son and daughter. He also took particular care of his daughter Zaynab’s children after her separation from Abu’l As until he joined them in Madinah, and then again after Zaynab died (in 8AH).

Umm Habibah was famous for raising orphans, and once took in all the children of a believer who had passed away until they grew up. Maymunah also raised orphans. In fact, the Prophet (pbuh) must have had around thirty youngsters either living in his household or regular visitors to it, notably in his last years - a fact not realised by those who imagine his life to be solely one of quiet prayer.

The Prophet (pbuh) was once bouncing the baby son of his old friend Umm Qays bint Mihsan the sister of Ukkashah on his lap when the infant wet himself, and gave him a ‘damp patch’. The Prophet (pbuh) chuckled and sent for water to sprinkle over his garment. On another occasion she took her son to him because the child had a swelling on his uvula, which she had been trying to cure by squeezing it. The Prophet (pbuh) told her not to do that, but gave the advice to tip his head back and trickle the juice of aloes through his nose as a remedy.

He personally taught children discipline and good manners. He thought discipline was vitally important, especially for the young. ‘It is better for a man to discipline his son than to give a huge amount as sadaqah,’ he said. (Tirmidhi 1283). Once he was eating with Umm Salamah and her son Umar, and the boy earned a rebuke for letting his hand ‘roam in the dish’. He should eat with his right hand, and take what was nearest to him.(Muslim 5012).

On another occasion the Prophet (pbuh) was visited by Umar’s cousin Layla bint Abu Hathmah and her son Abdullah. When she called Abdullah to come to the Prophet (pbuh) he was busy playing and reluctant to come. At that, she tricked him. ‘Abdullah, come and see,’ she called. ‘I’ve got something for you!’ The child came, to discover to his disappointment that it was only a date. The Prophet (pbuh) noted his face, and told her that she should always keep her word and never be a liar, especially to a child.

He believed that children should always be treated with justice. ‘Do not ask me to bear witness to injustice,’ he said. (Bukhari 2.818). ‘Your children have the right to receive equal treatment, as you have the right that they should honour you.’

He never used to speak badly of people, following the principle that if you couldn’t say something good, then say nothing at all. He disliked whispering and sniggering. He once said: ‘If you are three people, two of you should not speak in a confidential manner in the presence of the third until you are joined by other people, because it brings sadness to the heart of the third person, who feels left out, and alienated.’ Those who spoke with him knew that they would be treated with courtesy, forbearance, modesty and trust. He disliked raised voices, and never shouted or uttered obscene words, or indulged in fault-finding. He simply ignored what he did not like, and did not make a fuss about it.

Moreover, he was very kind, and never gossiped or made known the shortcomings of anyone, or exposed their defects to others. He did not attempt to find out people’s secrets, and when told them, he never declared them to others. The one thing he did hate was lying. Aishah recorded: ‘No habit was more disgusting to him than telling a lie. If he found out about anyone lying, he kept away from that person until they were genuinely sorry for it.’ Yet if he disapproved of something, he never rebuked the person directly or abruptly, but simply let his wishes be known tactfully.

He also hated suspicion. ‘Suspicion is the worst of false tales,’ he said. ‘Do not look for the faults of others, and do not spy, or be jealous of one another, or desert (break off your relations with) one another, and do not hate each other; and O Allah's worshippers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you)! (Buk 8.90).

The Prophet (pbuh) believed in good manners, always greeting people kindly, showing respect to elders. He was never arrogant or ‘superior’ despite his eminent position as leader, making no-one ever feel small, unwanted or embarrassed. People who sat in his company never felt that he was rude to them, or that he ignored or neglected them. When he shook hands with someone, he was never the first to withdraw his hand. He would not break off a conversation until he was sure the person had finished and was ready to turn away, and he never turned his face away from the person he was talking to.

He had done that once in the early days in Makkah, when blind Abdallah b. Umm Maktum came to interrupt him with a question about one of the revealed verses. At the time he was deep in conversation with Walid b. Mughirah and his influential friends Uqbah and Shaybah b. Rabi’ah, Abu Jahl and Umayyah b. Khalaf. The Prophet’s (pbuh) momentary impatience earned him a violent headache and temporary partial blindness, and a rebuke from Allah that came in the revelation of Surah 80:1-16. For years after that he used to greet Abdallah with the words: ‘Salaam to the one on behalf of whom my Sustainer has rebuked me.’ This was the Ibn Umm Maktum (called both Abdallah and Amr in the sources) who was frequently deputised to lead the prayers in Madinah when the Prophet (pbuh) was on his expeditions. Some people have tried to explain this occasion away, without realising how it, and its inclusion in the text of the Qur’an, reveal so much about the Prophet’s (pbuh) humanity and honesty and humility.

Some people have supposed the Prophet (pbuh) to have been a severe, austere man, but in fact he was always smiling. One companion said of him: ‘I have seen no person smiling more than the Messenger of Allah (pbuh).’ Aishah said: ‘He was the softest and most kind of all people; and he was a man like you, except that he was cheerful and smiling.’

When people laughed, he laughed with them. Although his laugh was usually no more than a smile, sometimes it was said of him that he threw back his head and laughed so completely that you could see his teeth shining like white hailstones. There are many hadiths recording how the Prophet (pbuh) laughed so heartily at something that people could see his molar teeth! For example, when Aishah as a child argued with him about her model horses with wings, and pointed out that Solomon had such horses, ‘The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) laughed so heartily that I could see his molar teeth.’ (Abu Dawud 2316).

During one time of drought he prayed for rain, and ‘the rain fell by Allah's permission, and before he reached his mosque streams were flowing. When he saw the speed with which the people were rushing for shelter, he (peace be upon him) laughed so that you could see his back teeth and said: ‘I testify that Allah is Omnipotent and that I am Allah's servant and apostle.’ (Abu Dawud 452).

Examples of many other hadiths making a point of mentioning the Prophet’s (pbuh) laughter are Buk 3.157;Buk 6.466; Buk 8.299; Buk 9.510; and Muslim 82;

He had, in fact, a whimsical sense of humour, revealed in many of his sayings. The humour also showed through in the nicknames he gave people. For example, any lady who was called Barrah immediately got her name changed to something else, for ‘barrah’ meant ‘good’. It was not that he could not believe any woman could be ‘good’. The Prophet (pbuh) explained to the surprised woman that if he did not change that name he would never be able to say ‘goodbye’ to her, for it hurt him to bid farewell to the Good.

Other nicknames included Abu Hurayrah (‘Father of the little cat’ – so called because when he worked as a shepherd he used to keep a kitten), and Abu Turab (‘Father of dust’ – the Prophet’s (pbuh) special private name for his son-in-law Ali, who sometimes slept on his own, on the ground, and got dusty whenever he and Fatimah had a disagreement).

The Prophet’s (pbuh) wives (some quite overweight!) were known as ‘the glass vessels’. Anas recorded how he and Umm Sulaym had been in company with the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives once while they were travelling in howdahs, being hurried along by Anjasha’s singing. ‘Gently, O Anjasha,’ cried the Prophet (pbuh) to the camel-driver. ‘Be careful – these camels are carrying delicate glass vessels. Don’t break them.’(Muslim 5746).

Nothing enraged him, and he despised no-one – except those overcome by evil, who were opposed to Allah and His ways. Even so, it was not the person, but the evil that had taken hold of them that was despised. Once any such person repented and turned back to good, he or she was accepted instantly, and forgiven – both by Allah and His Messenger (pbuh). He did not take offence at anything and then take revenge on the person who offended him, unless the sacred things of Allah had been violated, in which case he would only take revenge for the sake of Allah. He certainly never made unpleasant remarks designed to hurt or spite people.

Once he made an old lady cry by teasing her that there would be no old women in Paradise. She was devastated until he explained that what he meant was that Allah would make all old people young again. Once Umm Ayman (probably the old lady of the last hadith) asked him if she could have a camel. He commented that she could only have the offspring of a she-camel. Umm Ayman was hardly satisfied – and pointed out that it would not be able to bear her weight. ‘Mother,’ the Prophet (pbuh) insisted, ‘I will only mount you on the offspring of a she-camel’ At last she realised he was joking with her, for all camels were offspring of she-camels!

Umm Salamah later recorded that he never left her apartment without raising his eyes to the sky and saying: ‘O Allah, I seek refuge in You in case I stray or lead others astray, or am the cause of injustice, or suffer injustice, or do wrong, or have wrong done to me.’ (Abu Dawud 5075).

No Muslim was ever knowingly to make himself or herself a nuisance to others, and if told of any nuisance caused, should refrain from that activity immediately. ‘That person is not one of us whose neighbour does not feel safe from his (or her) harm,’ he stated. (Muslim 15). ‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should be generous to his neighbour,’ he said.(Muwatta 49.22). ‘The best friend in the sight of Allah is the one who always wishes his companions well, and the best neighbour is one who behaves best towards his neighbours.’(Tirmidhi 120). In fact, he cared so much for the rights of neighbours that he once observed: ‘The angel kept on commending the neighbour to me so much that I thought he was going to ask me to make him an heir.’ (Abu Dawud 2446).

As well as loving people, the Prophet’s (pbuh) care for helpless animals was legendary. Once some of the companions found a bird with two young ones, and they took the young. Jabir b. Abdullah recorded how a chick was brought in, and then the mother bird came and spread its wings and was obviously very upset and threw itself down before the man who had taken it. ‘Who grieved this bird?’ the Prophet (pbuh) demanded, and made the guilty ones bring back the fledglings immediately. (Abu Dawud 1131). ‘Does it surprise you that this bird whose chick you took is bowing, offering itself to gain mercy for its chick?’ the Prophet (pbuh) cried. Then he used the incident to teach a beautiful message. ‘I swear by Allah, your God is more compassionate for you than this mother bird for its chick!’ (Ibn Kathir 3.117).

On another occasion he stopped some children who were shooting at a hen that had been tied up (Bukhari 7.421). ‘If someone kills even a mere sparrow for amusement,’ he cried, ‘then the sparrow will speak on the Day of Judgement – O Lord, that person killed me for nothing! He did not kill me for any useful purpose!’ (Tirmidhi 1108).

He was very tender towards women. ‘Those who believe in the Almighty and a Day of Judgement should never cause damage or distress to those amongst whom they live. And I warn you (men) to take care of women, for they are created from a rib, a bone which curves round to its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will snap, but if you leave it alone, it stays bent. So I earnestly advise you, take care of women.’ (Bukhari 7.114).

Although this saying showed he was well aware of the old Jewish tradition that told of Allah taking one of Adam’s ribs while he slept in order to create a woman, and used the saying in his dry humour to warn men that they would never be able to ‘straighten’ them out, this was not the teaching revealed to him in the Qur’an. The angel brought Allah’s word that all human beings, male and female, were created equal, rather like the division of cells from a single original.

‘O humanity! Live in reverence of your Lord, the One who created you from a single soul (nafs), from that soul created its mate, and through them He spread countless men and women. Be in awe of the Almighty, the One in whose name you demand your rights from one another and the ties of relationship; surely Allah is watching you very closely.’(4.1).

And in that chauvinistic world of cruel, avaricious and tyrannical men the Prophet (pbuh) taught that women had rights and responsibilities just as the men did – they might be different, but their moral and spiritual potential was in no way inferior to that of menfolk.

He counselled people with marriage problems and intervened to alleviate matters. For example, he had to restrain the excessive devotions of his friend Uthman b. Maz‘un, one of those very devout men whose constant occupation with his religion had led him to neglect his wife beyond what was reasonable. His prayer-regime was so zealous that Khawlah (bint Hakim), who had remained close to the Prophet (pbuh), almost a fixture in his family home since arranging his marriage to Sawdah, suffered from his lack of concern for her needs. Khawlah sought the Prophet’s (pbuh) advice, so he summoned Uthman and asked him if it was true that he did not approve of his example? Uthman protested that on the contrary, he only sought to follow his sunnah, and hoped it would earn greater merit if he fasted all year and prayed all night.

‘But the Almighty did not command that,’ replied the Prophet (pbuh). ‘I pray, but I also sleep; I fast but sometimes I do not fast. I work, and I keep women company. Respect God’s will, Uthman,’ he said. ‘Your wife has a right over you, your guest has a right over you, and your self has a right over you.’(Abu Dawud 1364). Uthman was reminded that all his ritual practices above and beyond the required limits were good and to be admired in themselves – but not if achieved at the expense of neglecting and hurting others, or damaging his own health and his family’s happiness. The Prophet (pbuh) pointed out that a believer who concentrated on developing a good character was just as good as someone who prayed all night and fasted all day.(Abu Dawud 4780). There were many who practised devotions as Uthman did, but gained nothing from it but hunger and sleeplessness, and discontented families.

He encouraged people who found things difficult – as, for example, when they were trying to learn how to recite the verses of the Qur’an, praising those who had a hard time doing it over those who were talented in this respect. ‘Whoever recites the Qur’an and masters it by heart will be with the noble, upright, recording angels,’ he said. ‘But whoever has to struggle to learn it by heart and recites it with difficulty, will have double the reward!’ (Abu Dawud 1449). Like many a good teacher, he appreciated the actual effort made by the student, rather than admire their God-given talent.

These are merely a few insights, but they show us a wonderful, wise, kindly man, who was loved devotedly by all who came to know him.